5/2/12- sample …

5/2/12- sample post to prove that this blog is still active. 

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Life In A Nutshell

I’m trying to repost some of my blogs from my other pages that sparked a bit of interest. (ie. comments…might not do the same here but still its nice to have all my thoughts in one place.  So the following comes from the tail end of 2011. Oh yeah!)

Okay, so I started this as a draft the day before the day after yesterday, thus the date is off. This is officially my first blog because it’s not really about the new book, which I had told myself was all I was going to do on here. But I keep reading/seeing/hearing such cool/funny/strange stuff that I owe it to myself to write it down. Not that you couldn’t live without it but its write it down or do chores…you can clearly see where my loyalties lie. No really, that’s the truth.

The state of America…hmmm…so much has been said. The economy is bleak, unemployment is around 24 million unemployed, Dow is yoyo-ing, credit rating downgraded, allies are offended or at the very least dumbfounded, enemies are giggling, debt ceiling raised so we can borrow more money to give to other countries, illegals being given free food-housing-medical-taxes-education etc while seniors can’t get SS and veterens can’t get respect. The list goes on and on.

Why isn’t congress doing something? Oh they’re recessed til November. Wait! What? Where’s the president then. What? He’s on vacation? Are you kidding me? I don’t care if the 9-day August vacation to the coast IS sacrosanct. We’re in kind of a spot here. Didn’t he just take a vacation like right in the middle of the BP oil spill crisis?? I haven’t been able to afford a vacation since then. Guess the American people are tightening our belts a bit more than our elected.

When my kid’s room is a mess, like our country seems to be…I make em go in there and clean it up. And don’t come out until you’re done. And then when they say they’re done I go in and pull all the junk out from under the bed and in the closet and shoved behind their dressers and make em do it again until it’s a least better. Boy, this country better be thankful that I’m not its dad…

Okay, so enough of that. I posted on my other page a thought I had yesterday. You know how some fancy hotels will simply skip the 13th floor, going straight from 12 to 14…purely for superstitious reasons. I wish restaurants would leave “number two” off their menus.

Do you realize how uncomfortable it is to walk up to a counter and ask for a number 2. Hello sir, how may I help you? Uh, I’d like a number 2…Yes sir, well for that you need to walk down the hall. It’s the first door on your left. Ahem!

A friend of mine was talking about my book yesterday and mentioned to me that he couldn’t wait the movie came out. Here’s a quote for him.

                                           “Having your book turned into a movie

                              is like having your oxen turned into bullion cubes.”

(John LeCarre)

That might make a good wall post.  Anyhoo ( I hate it when people say anyhoo…) Another quote is “never judge a book by its movie” (JW Eagan). So…anybody seen any good books turned into good movies? The one that comes to my mind is LOTR trilogy. Peter Jackson did a fabulous job with that one and I can’t wait until his HOBBIT movie comes out next year.

HOWEVER, ANYONE SEEN ANY GOOD BOOKS TURNED INTO BAD MOVIES? The ones that come to my mind are BATTLEFIELD EARTH AND CLAN OF THE CAVE BEAR…great books, horrible movies. I was not impressed with THE NOTEBOOK movie either after reading the book. I am very excited to check out GAME OF THRONES tv series too…excellent books by George RR Martin. What movies have disappointed you?

Okay, I guess I’m a bit blogged out for now. Had some other thoughts…stupid songs on the radio, yardsales, nosey neighbors…but I guess I’ll let them percolate for a while. Mmmm…now I’m thirsty.

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Getting the Last Word!

So, it was April 19th of 2011, that I wrote what was to be the last word of my book. I could sense it coming as I got to within a few pages of it. Seeing as how this manuscript was accepted by a publisher before it was completed, I knew that they had a guideline of 115,000 words. I finished a chapter and checked my word count. 108,000 give or take. I realized that I would not have an adequate amount of words left available to me to do justice to the next chapter so I had to revise my thinking. At that point I was unsure how I would leave the book but some sort of “cliff hanger” seemed appropriate. (Sorry, I hate reading books with cliff hangers when the next book in the series hasn’t been released. But my options seemed limited.) So I came up with a tentative scenario and continued to click away at the keyboard.

The scene of the final chapter started to materialize as I chipped away at it and suddenly I seemed to sense the ending was approaching. I kept typing, determined not to rush toward it but I was excited. I had whittled at the idea for this story for ten years, coming up with what became my first three chapters. Then I had pounded the story for five months, writing with a forced diligence to craft something that could be publishable. Sitting in my office, nearing midnight, I envisioned the final sentence, paced myself and approached it stealthily, afraid it might sense me and bound away into the cover of darkness. Not a chance. I reached the final sentence, my chest actually tightening somewhat and with a slight shortness of breath, typed in the final key with a flourish. Done!

I sat there for a moment, stunned. I had to tell my wife. I went into the bedroom and gently shook my wife. And again. And again a little harder. “Hmmm?” she mumbled. “I’m done,” I said, “I just wrote the last word.” “Good job honey,” she said and tried to kiss me, missing by about three feet. Then she promptly fell asleep again.

I walked out to the living room and turned around in circles a few times, unsure what to do next. Should I call someone? Post something on Facebook? Shake up a celebratory beer and spray it around the living room? Instead I went in and turned off the computer and went to bed. Thankfully, because it was so dark and everyone else in the house was asleep, no one could see the big stupid grin on my face as I lay there, unable to sleep.

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Hello world!

…hmm, a bit presumptuous, don’t you think? But that was the generic heading that was generated when I created this particular blog page.  I decided to leave it. Why? Well, perhaps it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Hello world…here I am.

Who am I? (Oh vanity of vanities…) My name is Michael Humphrey. I am a husband and dad. I have a degree in Theology from Ambassador College. I currently work at a University in the School of Visual and Performing Arts and own a small window cleaning business. (not just for small windows. I do large windows too.)

I have written and performed poetry on stage and television, sung in a band and deejayed on a local radio station. I am the vice-president (no, not of the United States) of the Board of Trustees of my local library. I love to squander my time reading books, watching movies, and playing video games. I find great satisfaction in over-eating and sleeping in. I’d rather look busy than “be” busy. In a sluggish nutshell…I’m lazy. At least that is what I would be by nature, by choice…if I allowed myself. Instead, I’m sitting here blogging, trying a find a better use for my time. Is blogging really a better use of my time? Aren’t there dishes to do, laundry to wash, a dog to walk? Aren’t my taxes due soon, my office disorganized, and my garage disheveled. Yep, yep, and yep!

So, why write a blog? Facebook notes are fine. Tweets on Twitter are dandy. But a blog is more of an assault-essay; a war of words, a bloodbath of badinage. So this is my new ‘Nam. My PEARL of wisdom HARBOR. My glad-he-ate-her coliseum. This is where I get to creep through jungles, blow up stuff, and wrestle lions. This is my opportunity to aim for bulls eyes,  build forts, and capture the flags.

Here is what I currently have in my cross-hairs. This page is being started primarily as a site for me to promote my first novel and to share the process that the book goes through from start to finish.  But down the road I anticipate being able to sound off on art and politics, history and religion, world events and personal asides. I’m looking forward to that.

I’m not going to start off by talking about all the agonizing hours spent ripping my hair out each time a sentence was not going my way. (Besides, I’m going gray…not bald…yet!) Better, I’m going to start somewhere in the middle of this process, with the manuscript complete and submitted. (That happened on 4/19/11 and what a good day that was.)

Usually once a manuscript is complete, a writer then researches publishers and begins to send out query letters or sample chapters in hopes of hooking a big one. I had already done that and been contacted and contracted for a partial manuscript a few days before the previous Thanksgiving. (Another day that was a very good day.) I took the winter to finish the book and submitted a formatted copy in the spring. Formatted meaning that Tate Publishing had already provided me with certain guidelines (ie. font size, spacing, etc., as well as what else to include with the prose. Title page, source acknowledgment, dedication, a short author bio and the teaser for the back flap.

Below is what I sent them for the back side of the cover design. It went through some tweaking (Don’t we all?) and may go through more before it hits the shelves at Borders and eventually finds its way to Goodwill and yard sales. The first part is a summary of the series, called Seed Vision Sagas. (Yes, I’m hoping to write more books.) The second summary is just for this book itself, but did not actually make it on to the back flap in its present incarnation. The third section is what is actually on the back cover of my first novel.


Journey through the pages of history with Kole, the unknown older brother of Cain and Abel. Witness firsthand the rest of the story as he shares his memories of meeting Noah, Jonah, David, Joseph and a young Jesus. Be astounded by the lost wisdom of the ancients that only one man can share because only one man was there…who is STILL ALIVE. Living in a town not too far away is the world’s oldest man. He has a story to tell and now he has God’s permission to tell it.


Four hundred years ago Kole changed his name to Al. As the first human being ever born, the forgotten first son of Adam and Eve has seen a lot. In this first book, Al’s best friend Lester learns how it all began. What were the real reasons Cain killed Abel? How did Adam and Eve react? Who did Cain marry? What were the cities like before the flood? What technology did they have? Were there really giants, dragons and dinosaurs? And most puzzling of all, how in the world did he survive the flood? Discover a world that you have never known…a world that is very much like your own.

Here is what is finalized on the book jacket backside:

“They want what they suspect I have.”



The first born son of Adam and
Eve…is still alive.
He has one week to reveal his secrets to his best friend, Lester, before he
moves to the Middle East for one final divine task. But with a ruthless
secret society of shadowy evil, known as the Lightmen, closing in, time is
in desperately short supply.
In order to survive he is going to need Lester’s help. But first, Lester
needs a history lesson. With God’s permission, Al finally tells his life
as it is and once was.
As Al recounts his story to his only confidant, Lester not only learns the
secrets of his mysterious best friend, but the story behind the world’s
beginning—and in the process, he may even find faith for himself.

>So that’s it. I’ll post more on the book’s official release as the day approaches, sometime in late April, I’m hoping. Until then I will be working with a marketing team, making sure things are in place with Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble and other smaller book carriers.  It’s going to be kind of a cool process for me to experience. I’m looking forward to it.  I may have some advance copies as early as February for book signings which I’ll post here on the calendar and on FB, Twitter, Goodreads, etc. I’ll let you know because I’m sure you already have it penciled in on your calenders, you’ve taken the week off of work and saved some of your bigger fireworks from the Fourth of July just for the occasion. =)

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